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Writing Contest

Group A (4th grade and below) 1st Place – The Very Smart Girl, by Angela Xu

Reviews

“Your story was very interesting. I especially enjoyed the ending, where Athena was as smart as Chris thought. Something else that is noteworthy is the way you immaculately described the main character and how in-depth you went to do that. ” – Henderson Wong

“In general, she wrote a very descriptive, realistic story by describing the thought process of Chris, which can be relatable for every student, and she added an interesting twist at the end. The separations of the story into paragraphs made it simple to follow along with the story’s contents. However, for the dialogue-heavy sections, every time a different person spoke, their dialogue should have been put into a separate paragraph, making it easier to follow along with who was speaking.” – Isabella Chen

Group A (4th grade and below) 2nd Place – Hidden Doorway, by Ashley Wang

Reviews

“Your story was definitely the one that stood out the most to me! Depending on the part of the story, the way you described things set an atmosphere easily. The ending was immaculate, and there’s no doubt in me that you can pull off a sequel to this short story ” – Henderson Wong

“In her writing, it was very apparent that she knew how to write an engaging story, which was shown through the varying sentence lengths to create suspense and the very detailed descriptions of the scene where the main character was. While the contents of her writing were outstanding, she should also pay attention to the formatting of her story. The whole piece was only one paragraph, while it would be much better if she separated it into multiple paragraphs so it would be easier for the reader to follow her story and generally be more visually appealing. More specifically, towards the end, in the dialogue, every time a different person spoke, their words should have been put in a new paragraph. ” – Isabella Chen

Group A (4th grade and below) 3rd Place – Collecting Coins, by Maxwell Mao

Reviews

“This story is very good. It was very intriguing to learn about your hobby of collecting coins. I’m glad that you found something that makes you happy. I think collecting coins is a great hobby, and you should pursue whatever makes you happy, regardless of others’ opinions. ” – Henderson Wong

“Overall, I thought the general idea of his piece was a fascinating and insightful topic to write about. There were no grammar and punctuation mistakes, and the formatting was excellent, as he used separate paragraphs with indents. I liked the inclusion of the tip section at the end, allowing the reader to continue learning more about collecting coins and possibly collecting coins themselves. The only suggestion is to combine shorter sentences and practice making longer complex sentences. ” – Isabella Chen

Group B (5th grade and above) 1st Place – A New World, by Vanessa Huang

Reviews

“I love the formatting of the story, it’s different and creates a different atmosphere for the reader. It’s short and sweet with a beautiful concept. It has a grand and magical tone, and the ending was very poetic.” – Andrew Mi

“I enjoyed the elaborate language you used; it really brings a new tone of regality, and layers that add depth to your story! The mix of internal monologue and external dialogue is very well done. Your descriptions are great– I love the detail, but keep in mind that it’s possible to be overdone (you aren’t quite there, but the line is being toed). The ending was really cool as well; you can definitely tell when the pieces start to fall together. Overall, great work!” – Elsa Han

Group B (5th grade and above) 2nd Place – Red Riding Hood Fairytale Twist, by Nia Jacob

Reviews

“I love the theme of the story, it’s really clever. It’s cool that you were able to turn a well known story into a similar but completely different idea. The story seemed to teach a lesson and played on real life matters.” – Andrew Mi

“I love the twist you put on this classic! Retellings are some of my favorite things to read, and your work didn’t disappoint: the changes you added were really fun to read. I love your writing style, and the beginning of the work especially: the worldbuilding in the first paragraph sets up a great tone for the rest of it. One of my only suggestions is to not overdo the punctuation: when you use too many exclamation points or ellipses, it tends to draw away from the emphasis of it all. Additionally, you may want to try for a stronger ending: give it the same emphasis your introduction had! Overall, this was a really fun read– great job!” – Elsa Han

Group B (5th grade and above) 3rd Place – The Killer House, by Debbie Zhu

Reviews

“This was a great and engaging story with a mystery plot, and the end was a surprising cliffhanger. The timestamps in between sections were creative and helpful for the reader. I liked the variety of character expression.” – Andrew Mi

“I love the horror aspect you added to this story: it definitely made your work stand out! The time skips are placed very nicely, and overall everything was understandable. A single suggestion: check your formatting! A lot of your large paragraph blocks could be separated (especially when there’s several lines of dialogue, in which there should be a new paragraph every time a new person speaks), which makes it easier to read. The cliffhanger you left us on was done very well, and the overall narrative was fun to read– great work!” – Elsa Han

Outstanding Volunteers